For the second week running, severe weather (by English standards) saw several changes to the original plans.
Gloucester-Hartpury go into the winter break with a straight run of five wins, the only club to gain 100% in all their exams. In the process they have already seen off three of their major rivals once, Bristol, Exeter and Saracens; two of them away from home. Their delayed game against DMP had its inevitable result.
But it’s only in the New Year that we are likely to see all ten clubs at full strength. I note Saracens’ response to this delay down below.
Bristol Bears v Loughborough Lightning
This was a classic, helped by the belated return to action of several Red Roses. Just a pity that England Rugby Productions could offer me ‘no data received’ on their live stream.
The first try for the Bears was a masterpiece. From an 8-9 link behind a scrum, a dummy burst and an angled run gave Phoebe Murray an inch of space that she exploited to cross under the posts. But with Morwenna Talling, Sadia Kabeya and Emily Scarratt restored to action, Lightning were several degrees closer to full strength; they reached half-time ahead, 12-19.
Bears had the upper hand for most of the second half, but a penalty try to Lightning brought them level at 26-all, with Sarah Bern shown yellow. That advantage didn’t profit Lightning; from five metres out Lark Davies is as good as unstoppable. Her second try gave the hosts an invaluable 5-point lead. Even with their potential restored the East Midlanders remain winless, though three losing bonus points may yet prove vital.
Another shout-out for Phoebe Murray, shifted out today to No 13 to accommodate the Player of the Match, Amber Reed.
The remaining games couldn’t match this excitement.
Wasps v Worcester
Yet another irony. The day after both clubs’ applications to rejoin next year’s Premier 15s were rejected, they met at Twyford Avenue. The hosts had already announced their intention to move to join their men’s team in Coventry.
The outcome was totally predictable, a runaway win for the visitors. Despite the similarity of the clubs’ misfortunes, they have not been mirrored in onfield performances. The Warriors’ army has remained in place; the Wasps’ nest has been destroyed.
Such is the disarray in Acton that the hosts posted no record of the game on social media – contrary to an AP15s regulation. A gruesome story to have to tell.
The Penalty for Penalties
Exeter Chiefs v Harlequins
It was very hard to enjoy this match. The weather was appalling, rain alternately horizontal and vertical.
Amy Turner, absent ill, had left the Red Roses in the lurch in New Zealand to take up her appointment as head coach to Quins, but their performance was a thing of shreds and tatters.
Their watchword was ‘discipline’; they achieved somewhere close to 20 penalties and were marched back an extra 10 metres no fewer than three times. In the second half Rosie Galligan (almost unavoidable collision?) and Amy Cokayne (backchat) were shown yellow, though cards might have been brandished much earlier.
Turner still believes in the caterpillar ruck. It was used three times in the first half. The game came to an unwelcome stop as Emma Swords delicately manoeuvred the ball to the rear end of the ruck, paused, then hoisted her box-kick. None of the three attempted gained ground or possession. This tactic surely runs against traditional Quins’ values.
They were affected by the late withdrawal of Shaunagh Brown, then the early injury to Rachael Burford, but those misfortunes can’t explain away their performance.
Is it the Prem 15s’ role to be a nursery for world rugby (= overseas players)? Both No 10s came from abroad to deny two English players their chance.
Inside three minutes Claudia Macdonald made another outstanding run to score but a foot grazed the sideline.
Exeter proved to have the stronger pack, aided by wonky Quins’ line-out throws. But when Amy Cokayne replaced Rosie Dobson in the 31st minute, her first dart was no better. Such were the conditions.
18m Try to Cliodhna Moloney from a drive. (12-0)
25m Yet another Quins infringement. Hope Rogers taps and goes; Maisy Allen scores round the corner.
Before the interval an all too frequent sequence: another Quins’ infringement; their Australian No 10 deliberately kicks the ball deep; they are marched back another 10 metres; Chiefs score from a drive (Rogers).
H-T 27-0
There were just enough English players on view for two Robinson sisters to meet in combat. Big sister can’t be too happy at the turn of events.
As soon as the second half began, Cokayne was marched back 10 metres from a scrum for commenting on the referee’s decision .
Despite a torrent of penalties, Neil Chivers didn’t brandish yellow till the 44th minute. Rosie Galligan disappeared. Two minutes later Cokayne followed her.
The worry for the Chiefs was the lack of points in second half.
Viewers’ enjoyment was enhanced by Santa Nickolas Heath for his renaming of players. Rachael Myrrhford took the frankincense.
Player of the Match: Maisy Allen
Results:
*Bristol Bears 31 Loughborough Lightning 26
Gloucester-Hartpury 61 DMP Sharks 0 DELAYED TO SUNDAY (and a pitch-switch)
Sale Sharks v Saracens POSTPONED
Wasps 0 University of Worcester Warriors 50 (change to 4G pitch)
Sunday match
*Exeter Chiefs 27 Harlequins 0
*livestreamed games (though the Bristol game was visible to only some intending viewers)
So distorted has the season become that my cast-iron favourites for yet another trophy find themselves in seventh position!
Table
P W L Pts
Gloucester-H 5 5 0 24
Exeter 5 4 1 20
Bristol 4 3 1 15
Harlequins 5 3 1 14
Sale 4 3 1 13
UWW 4 2 2 11
Saracens 4 2 2 10
Lightning 5 0 5 3
Wasps 4 0 4 0
DMPS 4 0 4 0
Next round after the Christmas and New Year break: January 7-8
Afterthoughts
Alex Austerberry was most upset when the RFU failed to explain to him why certain Red Roses were not permitted to play in Round 4. Saracens conceded their heaviest defeat ever against Gloucester-Hartpury. He is not used to losses, let alone home ones, but it did help to add much needed unpredictability to the league.
With Cleall, Harrison, McKenna and Packer all due to be harnessed up at last in Round 5, everyone at the StoneX must be frustrated beyond measure. Will the other clubs mind?
This season started much later than usual, but not nearly late enough for fans to see their Red Rose heroes in action again on home soil. Only now are figures like Sarah Bern, Emily Scarratt and Alex Matthews allowed to return. If the start of the season had been put back to 17 December, conkers might have been falling before it ended.
The matches between DMP Sharks and Wasps, and University of Worcester Warriors and Bristol Bears, which were postponed last week, have been rearranged for the weekend of 11-12 February 2023.
Where are they now?
How many ex-Wasps players were on view at Sandy Park? – 6: McMahon, Cokayne, Kildunne, Moloney, Macdonald and Corson.
How many England qualified players in the Chiefs’ starting XV? – 6.
So that’s all nice and even.
